M&M's and Shooting Stars

Last Saturday 8/8/15 Anthony and I went on a double date with Bethany and Jacob. We went to the park and while Anthony and I waited for them to show up we went and fed the ducks at the pond. We then ate sandwiches and made spray paint space art. I loved spending time with Anthony! I was feeling hyper sensitive to everything that went wrong on the date though because I was the one who planned it. He was so sweet to reassure me that everything was going great. I felt a little weird at the end of the date even though everything was great, after much thought, talks with Kaeley and prayer, I realized that I need to make sure I am spending quality time with him one on one. It is just a weird in between stage of us going on lots of dates but not necessarily dating. I think it will come and now that I have been able to think about it the date was still amazing and I really am liking him a lot. I mentioned that we were getting a group together to go and watch the meteor shower last night. I wasn't sure if he would be up to going because of how late it would be. He said that he actually should be able to make it.
I texted him about it and he asked if it would be okay if some of his family could come and watch it with us. I told him that it would be just fine. I texted him the next day asking how many people were planning on coming. He didn't respond. The next day I still hadn't heard from him. I was struggling with some anxiety because of the lack of communication. I prayed that first night and I asked my Father in heaven to help me use the atonement to get over those feelings. I was feeling better the next day but I realized that my feelings of anxiety were triggering the crazy emotions that I felt when my ex-husband would stonewall me and when John (Ex-boyfriend) would get so depressed that he wouldn't talk with me for days, sometimes weeks. I had to calm myself down and realize that there was a high chance that Anthony was not trying to hurt me by not responding back. I ended up calling him that night and we talked things out and he told me how crazy busy he had been. He let me know that he would be better at not neglecting my texts and he apologized for not responding. I didn't even have to mention what I was feeling and he was so quick to apologize and to say that he would try harder in the future. I don't think I have ever dated anyone who is so quick to apologize and to fix a problem. I was talking with Bethany about the situation and she told me that a good relationship helps you to rely on the atonement which helps heal past wounds and draws both of you closer to God. Anthony has no idea what has been going on with me emotionally with any of this but by the way he treats me he is drawing me close to the Lord and Anthony is showing me Christ-like love.
The meteor shower was last night and he brought his sister with him. We had a huge turn out of people that came and we headed over to Goshen to watch the Perseids meteor shower in my friend Bri's backyard. It was amazing! Anthony and his sister made me laugh so much and I loved the relationship that he has with his sister. Rachel, Steven and Norah came too. Anthony and I shared a blanket and we gradually were lying next to each other. I rested my hand between us and he did the same. Our hands and arms also became really close and they were touching side by side. He then moved part of his hand on top of mine but not all the way to the point of holding hands. Eventually, he moved his whole hand on mine and we held hands for the first time. Goodness, I am getting butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. I didn't feel like he was feeling pressure at all to do it, it was because he wanted to. I am so glad that our first time holding hands was under the stars watching a meteor shower. It was magical. :)

Now I know...You can never trust a Magic 8 Ball but Shooting Stars are something you can count on! ;)

It is a tradition amidst BYU and BYU-I students that when you hold a boys hand you give your roommates M&M's, when you kiss you buy them ice-cream, make-out Pizza and engagement Steak.
Well, I best be off to the store to buy some M&M's for them! ;)

Dreams

I had a dream last night that Anthony came over to my parents house and we still weren't officially dating but my dad pulled him into his office (in my dream it was 2 houses down, haha). He talked with him for an hour and I was mortified. What on earth could they have been talking about. He came back and he didn't run for his life (which he probably should have). We sat down and he was about to play a dream version of Monopoly.
When I awoke from this dream I was filled with peace and comfort. I don't know why I had this silly dream but for some reason I felt like I needed that re-assurance.

On a more serious note, I went to the temple with Kaeley on Thursday. We went and did sealings. It was beautiful, the family in our group had family names that they were doing. The most memorable name was the wife's grandmother being sealed to her parents. The spirit was strong and I knew that their grandmother had been waiting for that ordinance to be done.

After doing sealings, we went and sat in the celestial room. I prayed about many things and talked with my Father in heaven about Anthony. I felt so much peace and comfort while praying about him. I also had a vision of Anthony playing with our little girl (toddler age) and our baby boy (maybe 9 months old) on the floor. There was love in his eyes for those children. I know that the vision wasn't a promise and that if things with Anthony don't work out I will find another worthy priesthood holder to fulfill that role. But, I can't help but wonder if my relationship with Anthony will reach that point. I need to not think about that right now though. Heavens, we aren't even officially dating, lets not jump the gun here.

I am really looking forward to my date with him tonight and I hope that it goes well! :)

Magic 8 Ball You Lied to Me!!!

Dear Magic 8 Ball,
It was very rude of you to lie to me yesterday and I find your behavior utterly unacceptable. Please make right what you did wrong.
Un-Affectionately,
Caitlin

Tuesday (08/06/15) I went grocery shopping with Bethany and Kaeley. We were at LoLo's when we stumbled across a Magic 8 Ball in the clearance section. It was only $1.50!! Bethany of course bought it and we asked tons of questions and we were convinced it was correct in all of its fortune telling abilities. Bethany and Kaeley asked the ball if Anthony would hold my hand that night and it said "Yes definitely". They were convinced, and I am not going to lie I was a little convinced myself. No pressure right? ;)

Anthony invited me to go and watch The Avengers:Age of Ultron with Steven and Rachel, and Steven's brother, Brian and his girlfriend. I found out from Rachel that he was really cute and freaked out because he got a stain on his shirt right before I showed up. I didn't even notice the stain. :) He showed me how to play Super Smash Bro. but we didn't have a chance to play a game before we left. When Brain and his girlfriend came over I had a harder time talking with him because of the size of the group.
We rode in the back seat of Rachel and Steven's coop car, which Anthony hardly fit into. He laid his hand right next to me and I freaked out a little, and did not make my hand available for him. Silly  right? I do want to hold his hand I just freaked out a little bit. Our hands were super close to touching as we walked to the movie theater but I again I moved my hands to my purse...what was I doing!? Poor guy. I probably gave him some mixed signals because then during the movie I made my hand very available but he didn't make any moves to reach for it. Which honestly is fine, he will hold my hand when he is ready and I hope he doesn't feel pressure to do so. It will be all the more special when he is ready (and when I am ready). Plus, after we hold hands I feel like it will bring up a conversation about our relationship. Maybe dating? But before that happens (dating) he needs to know about my divorce, I know it is only a matter of time. I am really glad he is moving slow, honestly I need that.After the movie let out he asked me if I like it and if I had a good time, and of course my answer was yes. I thanked him for the movie and for inviting me. When we got back from the movie he gave me a hug when I got out of the car and then we chatted with Rachel and Steven for a little bit and then he walked me to my car which was really close to his (maybe 20 feet away from his) and he gave me another hug. He told me that he was excited to go on the date we have planned with Bethany and Jacob this Saturday and then he waved to me as soon as I turned my lights on in my car.

Yesterday I texted him about what type of sandwiches he likes (for Saturday):
Me: Did I mention that I will be  making dinner for us to eat at the park on Saturday? I probably should have if I failed to. ;) If I happen to end up making sandwiches for dinner, what type of lunch meat, cheese and condiments do you prefer? :)
Anthony: Oh wow, you're going all out! (Insert two different smiley faces which look something like this, :o :D ) Well, I think I'd go with turkey meat, cheddar, lettuce, mayo, mustard, onions, and tomatoes. Thanks so much Caitlin! You're very thoughtful! :)
Me: It is no problem Anthony, I am glad you are coming. :) Thanks for the list! That helps a lot! :)
Anthony: Thank YOU! :)
Me: :)

I am not sure if I have stressed this enough, I really REALLY like this guy!