Last Saturday 8/8/15 Anthony and I went on a double date with Bethany and Jacob. We went to the park and while Anthony and I waited for them to show up we went and fed the ducks at the pond. We then ate sandwiches and made spray paint space art. I loved spending time with Anthony! I was feeling hyper sensitive to everything that went wrong on the date though because I was the one who planned it. He was so sweet to reassure me that everything was going great. I felt a little weird at the end of the date even though everything was great, after much thought, talks with Kaeley and prayer, I realized that I need to make sure I am spending quality time with him one on one. It is just a weird in between stage of us going on lots of dates but not necessarily dating. I think it will come and now that I have been able to think about it the date was still amazing and I really am liking him a lot. I mentioned that we were getting a group together to go and watch the meteor shower last night. I wasn't sure if he would be up to going because of how late it would be. He said that he actually should be able to make it.
I texted him about it and he asked if it would be okay if some of his family could come and watch it with us. I told him that it would be just fine. I texted him the next day asking how many people were planning on coming. He didn't respond. The next day I still hadn't heard from him. I was struggling with some anxiety because of the lack of communication. I prayed that first night and I asked my Father in heaven to help me use the atonement to get over those feelings. I was feeling better the next day but I realized that my feelings of anxiety were triggering the crazy emotions that I felt when my ex-husband would stonewall me and when John (Ex-boyfriend) would get so depressed that he wouldn't talk with me for days, sometimes weeks. I had to calm myself down and realize that there was a high chance that Anthony was not trying to hurt me by not responding back. I ended up calling him that night and we talked things out and he told me how crazy busy he had been. He let me know that he would be better at not neglecting my texts and he apologized for not responding. I didn't even have to mention what I was feeling and he was so quick to apologize and to say that he would try harder in the future. I don't think I have ever dated anyone who is so quick to apologize and to fix a problem. I was talking with Bethany about the situation and she told me that a good relationship helps you to rely on the atonement which helps heal past wounds and draws both of you closer to God. Anthony has no idea what has been going on with me emotionally with any of this but by the way he treats me he is drawing me close to the Lord and Anthony is showing me Christ-like love.
The meteor shower was last night and he brought his sister with him. We had a huge turn out of people that came and we headed over to Goshen to watch the Perseids meteor shower in my friend Bri's backyard. It was amazing! Anthony and his sister made me laugh so much and I loved the relationship that he has with his sister. Rachel, Steven and Norah came too. Anthony and I shared a blanket and we gradually were lying next to each other. I rested my hand between us and he did the same. Our hands and arms also became really close and they were touching side by side. He then moved part of his hand on top of mine but not all the way to the point of holding hands. Eventually, he moved his whole hand on mine and we held hands for the first time. Goodness, I am getting butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. I didn't feel like he was feeling pressure at all to do it, it was because he wanted to. I am so glad that our first time holding hands was under the stars watching a meteor shower. It was magical. :)
Now I know...You can never trust a Magic 8 Ball but Shooting Stars are something you can count on! ;)
It is a tradition amidst BYU and BYU-I students that when you hold a boys hand you give your roommates M&M's, when you kiss you buy them ice-cream, make-out Pizza and engagement Steak.
Well, I best be off to the store to buy some M&M's for them! ;)
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